1. My story began on the 28th of March 1973. Born of Dougie and Ann at The Willem Cruywagen Hospital in Germiston
2. Proof that I was a winner in life. I was the first sperm cell to reach the egg
3. The earliest memory I have is slicing the top of my finger off on a half opened tin. I was 18 Months old.
4. My second memory is of being in a green room with my dad comforting me while they sewed my finger tip back.
5. I have an older brother Kevin whom I love very much and am hugely proud of
6. The first friends I had were Marie, Lisa and Nico. (neighborhood kids)
7. The first Arch Enemies I ever had were Hendrik and Gertjie (neighborhood kids)
8. I starred in my first stage production as a Brown Bear in Numberland, My line was delivered flawlessly. “My card shows little number four, walk like a bear with hands on the floor. Exit stage walking with my butt in the air on all fours.
9. My parents separated sometime that year my mom started working and we went to an aftercare center
10. Digits in my force number 89554372 BG. Proof of my time spent in the defense force. I suspect that number will stay with me forever.
11. Met my first childhood girlfriend Paula. It was short lived
12. Got smacked numerous times in Grade 1 for disruptive behavior.
13. Moved to my Grandmothers house
14. Got smacked numerous times in Grade 2 for disruptive behavior.
15. Got smacked numerous times in Standard…… o wait I covered that one
16. Met my second girlfriend Tony. Took up hockey because Tony played hockey. Tony and the hockey were short lived.
17. Tony was a girl. Don’t let the name mislead you
18. Next I took up karate Kiaaaaaaaaaaa chop. Karate was short lived
19. Interwoven with this I became the victim of sexual predator. Not sure when it started. It stopped when I realized I was a victim and threatened to report my
abuser to the authorities.
20. I loved Living with my Grandmother. She was the person closest to me in the whole world. She stayed my closest confident until her death about 9 years ago. I still miss her terribly and cry if I think to long about her. (just rewrote that because I wrote it directly to her the first time)
21. Regrettably my parents got back together. Sitting outside pubs in the car waiting for dad in the dark became regular evening entertainment (must make a 100 list about things drunk ppl do sometime)
22. I always imagined I would grow up to be a veterinarian. (Academically I fell way short.) Other careers I considered, Food Technology (yes is has a qualification), Advertising, Piano Tuning (I still like this one). Also thought I may one day be a pastor.
23. I did have a childhood crush on a Vet. She worked miracles with animals. BTW. This had nothing to do with me wanting to be a vet.
24. Aptitude testing at school declared I would be hopeless at anything computer related and should stay well away.
25. Was constantly in trouble for incomplete work at school. Became proficient at worming my way out of undone work.
26. My Business Economics teacher did have the decency to call my parents just to tell them that they need not worry about me I would do well in life ……(dramatic pause)….. BECAUSE BRIAN CAN LIE HIS WAY OUT OF ANYTHING. Thanks for that one Mister Louw. I had to lie like anything to explain to my folks what you may have meant by that statement.
27. In Standard one (grade 3) I met two buddies Colin and Stephen. We were like the three musketeers (or was that 3 stooges) Anyway 24 years later we are still in touch.
28. I was baptized and raised as a Roman Catholic. Broke away from My Catholicism Sometime after confirmation. Talk about rows and ructions.
29. I associate myself to Christianity, and do not claim to belong to any denomination. I think God loves us all equally. Even the disruptive ones who can lie their way out of anything.
30. In Primary school and high school I sang in the church and school choir. Around puberty something happened to my vocals. Student Christian Association became my new activity of choice alongside rowing.
31. Discovered a fondness for some forms of alcohol. I was about 13.
32. yip I was a Rebel without a clue.
33. floated through high school. By Gods grace I got through.
34. I did work on weekends and school holidays in a hardware store. Paint 40% discount today only.
35. Briefly dabbled at technical college studying such noble topics as Engineering Science, Idustrial and Digital electronics.
36. Also learn’t the fine art of cutting class, and betting on horses.
37. Surprise I failed the second semester.
38. Confided my woes to my grandmother. Told her I think I should find a job. Without judgment she helped me look. I soon started my new career as a Retail trainee (read security guard).
39. So working a loss control officer (read security guard) made me realize how maybe I have failed myself. Ironic how many of my colleagues got prosecuted for theft.
40. Knowing I had reached the pinnacle of achievement I responded to my call up papers and joined the South African Defense force. It had to be better than my last eight months as a loss prevention officer (you kno by now)
41. In Upington I got trained as a mechanized infantryman. I also dropped from 90 Kg to 66 Kg in a few short weeks. I still deceive myself that the nickname I got on starting (Gummy Bear) had to do with my personality and not my body shape.
42. From Upington I got transferred to Ladysmith , a unit with a reputation for troops committing suicide. This reputation was borne out by me becoming the lucky recipient of a cupboard that still contained dried splattering of the last owners’ successful suicide attempt. My Status as a White Male Citizen compelled me to be there.
43. From Ladysmith fate or error re-posted me to Voortrekkerhoogte in Pretoria. I suspected error at the time because I was the only 18 yr old over achiever posted amongst a group ten years older all with one or more university degrees to their name
44. While there we were given an opportunity to try and win a bursary to study computer programming. All we had to do was leave camp for a day to go write a qualifying exam. I knew I had no chance since school had already taught me computers are not my thing. A day out of camp sounded great though. Was a little surprised to hear a few days later that I passed the entrance exam and would I go back for a second exam. It would mean time out of camp. Well okay. Another exam and an interview later I was the holder of a bursary. Training would commence a month after my Defense Force experience ended.
45. That month gave me sufficient time to re-adjust to civilian life, get into a car wreck and arrive for my first day of classes fresh from the surgery to reconstruct my nose.
46. Still could not believe I was doing the course and feared the final exams which would prove computers are not my thing. Still can’t believe my marks were amongst the highest country. I am not sure who lied to whom in high school.
47. Armed with my new qualification I was ready to grace the IT world with my presence. An upgrade from a Security guard. Sadly jobs were few. Took on a job as a factory worker manufacturing Exhaust Catalysts for the overseas automotive trade. Green cars were no heard of locally then.
48. Received notification that I was been court marshaled for the theft of defense force funds by committing fraud while working in pay office. The prosecution case was strong, they had the testimony of a captain, a general and the most damming piece of evidence of all the document I forged. This was rather an unfortunate turn of events in light of the fact I never did commit fraud or theft. I did have a Warrant Officer my sergeant major stand up for me saying that in spite of the evidence against me he did not believe I was capable of theft. He contacted me outside of the court marshal process to see if we could work out what was actually happening and how he could help me since I had all this evidence stacked against me and no way to even look at the evidence against me. Turns out in the end it was an accounting error just after I left where money was deposited into a regimental account instead of a state account. Strangely the court marshal process with all it’s evidence disappeared without so much as an apology.
49. Desperate to escape the thrilling world of catalytic converters, I kept looking for a job. Found a contract position as a support gopher for Reuters News agency.
50. Turns out it was the most amazing time to work for a news agency. South Africa was moving from an apartheid travesty to a democracy. I got to experience close up the political violence and also the hope of the time . I remember vividly setting up a news system for the independent electoral commission to monitor the voting process and the watching the first headline to appear, the article telling of the devastation of the bomblast in a part of my hometown where I knew that my Grandmother was that day. Thankfully she was not there at the time. I also got to witness the effects of the shell house massacre first hand. People streaming past some just terrified, some still committing violence against those not part of their cause.
If you are still wondering what this is about,
.
