Somebody said that Oprah said..............

I received this mail claiming that the following statements on relationships were made by Oprah, and what do I think of them. I have posted the statements with my responses here. What do you think of the statements or alternatively what do you think of my answers? My answers are in red

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

I disagree. His sense of responsibility can make him stay or not come. Consider a couple who fall apart and maybe should never have been together, but stay together for the children.

 

 

Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.

Agreed people should give account of themselves. If he won't dont do it for him.

 

 

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from

heartache.

I am a big believer in intuition so yeah

 

 

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to

be.

I agree rather be true to who you are

 

 

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what

Makes you truly happy.

I think this is sage advice. That’s why I would not want people to marry too young

 

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you

Deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".

A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.  Don't settle.

If we are talking abusive then yes I agree.

 

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better."

You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

Sometimes I think you got to cut your losses and go

 

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

True

 

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

This is an awful generalisation. I know men who have done this who have grown into older men who make good husbands and fathers who support all the illegitimate children. And who is to say that it is him who would not marry her. Besides he did not fall pregnant on his own

 

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Probably a good idea to have an outside support system

 

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Yes please speak up.

 

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

This is an abysmal generalisation of the worst kind, I can’t believe this was written by Oprah

 

You cannot change a man's behaviour. Change comes from within.

True

 

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if

He has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

I Agree except he is a human no more no less.

 

Never let a man define who you are.

I Agree

 

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

I don’t think this is the case. While it may be probable it’s still generalizing.

 

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

I agree

 

All men are NOT dogs.

I can’t believe this is the same person who says don’t tell a man everything beacuse he WILL use it against you later . I agree all men are not dogs.

 

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two Way street.

True

 

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute

About baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new

relationship

I disagree we are all capable of holding on to baggage for years.

I think living to this rule will kill off relationships altogether.

Relationships can’t be equated to airconditioning.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship

Consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone Complimentary...not

supplementary.

I can go with this

 

 

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

I can go with this

 

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, And

you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

This may be true, although it makes the assumption all men are wired the same.

 

Never move into his mother's house.

I so agree on this one

 

Never co-sign for a man.

Smacks of sexism this one. It make a sweeping generalisation about men. What makes a woman any more reliable to co-sign for. Better advice might be don’t co-sign for anyone

 

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you

need.

Would anyone ever commit in this case? Besides how do you only partly commit. Either you commit or you don't. When a pilot is on final appraoch and commits to land the plane , he has got to take the whole plane down he cant leave 25% in the air. Partial commitment is a misnomer.

 

Keep him in your radar but get to know

others.

This I could go either way on.

 

In conclusion I seriously don’t think these are the words of Oprah . Some of it may have been. Looks more like something compiled by a wannabe feminist, and that’s not a bad thing. Hopefully it gets people thinking?