Just Brian

On Voting.

2008-10-28T10:33:00.000+02:00

When it comes to politics I do not generally appeal to my local friends and my U.S.A friends at the same time. Today must be different

To my South African Friends,

In this coming year we have a general election coming up. I beg of you take a stand and be counted. Vote for someone, anyone. Heaven knows I don’t give a rat’s ass who you vote for. Just please don’t be complacent about it. Take a moment to reflect on how your right to vote was paid for in blood by many. Take a moment to reflect on how if you don’t vote now, in ten years you may not have the right to vote anymore. Reflect for a moment on how grand life might be if Julius Malema gets a cabinet post.

If you have not registered yet , *smack* you naughty person you. Head on over to
https://www.elections.org.za. You can find out where to register or verify that you are still registered and on the Voters Roll. Mark the 8th and 9th of November 2008 in your diary’s now. These are voter registration days, where you will be able to register at your nearest polling station. A South African I.D. Document and proof of residence will be required.

To my American friends,

Your day of reckoning is a lot closer. All I will say here is maybe just maybe if there had been less voter apathy the “Clown Prince of The World”, George Dubbya would not have had a second term in office. Don’t think your vote cannot make a difference. When your top man/woman treads on your civil liberties, they tread on the worlds’. Yes I am a fan of Barack Obama, but no, I won’t be prescriptive of how you should vote. Just please do vote. Maybe you want to reflect on where the republican administration got you and the world in the last two terms of office.

A Conclusion of sorts,

In short people voter apathy for me is appalling. If you are apathetic, don’t complain about your government after the fact. It may well be that your apathetic attitude helped put them there.

Interesting that apathy and pathetic have their origins in the same greek root “pathos”
Apathy – Insensibilty or indifference to suffering
Pathetic – liable to suffer.

Notably I think one leads the other. Your indifference to suffering will make you liable to suffer.

One last time, with feeling. Go and Register, Go and Vote Dammit! :-)

Catharsis he wrote...............

2008-08-14T08:33:00.001+02:00

The Exsanguination

My tears like blood
Flowed across your infidelity
cast in stone in a foreign land,
An epitaph to their glorious dead.

My tears like blood
Flowed down the passage
That carried the echoed sound
of your lovers orgasmic bliss

My tears like blood
Flowed across a mount
A pile of pages to declare
Your love many thousand deep

My tears like blood
Flowed from the cloth on his back
It would not staunch the wound
It would not stop the flow

My tears like blood
Flowed across a friendly betrayal
The sound of delight
Upon his meet.

My tears like blood
Flowed across the scribing
A practicing hand
Erasing that of my birth

My tears like blood
Flowed across innocent hearts
Currying favour
Bought Betrayed

My tears like blood
Flowed across a pixilated landscape.
Rendered what was mine
Rendered to naught

My tears like blood
Flowed for the love lost
The countless cost
Yet to pay

My tears like blood
Flowed mostly though
For my life my love
No longer wanted nor needed.

My tears like blood,
Flowed across your infidelity
cast in stone in a foreign land,
An epitaph to that which died within me
Exsanguinated finally

The destruction within.

2008-08-08T12:57:00.000+02:00

Sorry folks, it is a ramble and reflects my thought at the moment. I am not looking to make sense , or seek advice. It is in some way just a vent. How you interpret it/ apply it / view it, is up to you.

With the fire from the fireworks up above me
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain at hand
You run for cover in the temple of love
You run for another but still the same
For the wind will blow my name across this land

It is my observation and experience that often when we have something good, we are willing to bet it away in a game of chance, for something less good, transient, yet more exciting.

In the temple of love you hide together
Believing pain and fear outside
But someone near you rides the weather
And the tears he cried will rain on walls
As wide as lovers eyes

I know I do it, I have fallen victim to it. What in us makes us opt for self destructive behaviour against things that are working and good?

And the devil in a black dress watches over
My guardian angel walks away
Life is short and love is always over in the morning
Black wind come carry me far away

It seems we all live in a "summer of discontent". Are we all just marking time until something better comes along? I can no longer believe in forever. I dont know what I believe, let alone what I actually want.

With the sunlight died and night above me
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain inside
You run for cover in the temple of love
You run for another it's all the same
For the wind will blow and throw your walls aside

I wander if it is just our nature to fuck things up?

With the fire from the fireworks up above
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain
You run for cover in the temple of love
Shine like thunder cry like rain
And the temple of love grows old and strong
But the wind blows stronger cold and long
And the temple of love will fall before
This black wind calls my name to you no more

When does something become worth not screwing up?

In the black sky thunder sweeping
Underground and over water
Sounds of crying weeping will not save
Your faith for bricks and dreams for mortar
All your prayers must seem as nothing
Ninety-six below the wave
When stone is dust and only air remains

When do I value myself enough not to screw it up?

In the temple of love
Shine like thunder
In the temple of love
Cry like rain
In the temple of love
Hear the calling
And the temple of love
Is falling down

In the black sky thunder sweeping
Underground and over water
Sounds of crying weeping will not save
Your faith for bricks and dreams for mortar
All your prayers must seem as nothing
Ninety-six below the wave
When stone is dust and air remains
The only haven you can trust

Yes, I am down today. No my world is not at end or anything else in it. I just wonder if a "bad moon" is on the rise. I guess I will keep living in the moment and see if it does.

It's a GUY thing........

2008-04-15T14:47:00.007+02:00

Hey good people, my readership of three or maybe a few more.

First off, thank you Marihanda for the suggested title of this post.

This post has been a long time coming. I have a whole lot of thoughts and yet very few words to express them. It may still grow to be a lengthy post though.

Thanks all of you for riding the hills and valleys of my life with me and I guess really for still being there.

"There's a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside. " ~Pearl Bailey

In short by now you all know I am not the straightest man out there. Sure I probably lived a lifetime in denial.

"God has given you one face, and you make yourself another." ~William Shakespeare

I am a man who likes men. Gay, Queer, Fag. I don't much care for the lables. The reality of coming out of the closet is, it is all too often, reduced to a sex act or a lust driven carnal promiscious lifetstyle.

Very far removed from the truth. It allows no scope for men who bond emotionally with men.

"There's this illusion that homosexuals have sex and heterosexuals fall in love. That's completely untrue. Everybody wants to be loved." ~Boy George

I am not about to justify anything here. I feel no need to. This is more about some of my mental meaderings and thoughts on the topic.

There is a lengthy theological debate that could be had. There is a lengthy philosophical debate that could be had. Morality can be argued in both debates. Pshycology has had a field day on the topic. It is not something I chose, nor is it an illness.

"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer."" ~Robin Tyler

For anyone one who is curious as to what made me gay? Homosexuals are chosen first on talent, then an interview. The swim suit and evening gown competition pretty much gets rid of the rest of the competition. ;-)

Seriously I wondered, is this a choice I am making. Get real, no one would willfully choose to be gay. Why would anyone choose to be something found to be abhorent to a large segment of society. Homophobia of the worst kind is internalised homophobia. I know what it is to hate myself. I am dealing with it. I am out now , but not yet proud. In short I did not choose to be something that inside I felt abhorence towards. Then to still choose something knowing your own family, church and community may reject you. Highly unlikely.

"I like my beers cold and my homosexuals flaming." ~Homer Simpson. :-)

"The orientation is a given, not a matter of choice. It would be crazy for someone to choose to be gay, given the homophobia that is present." ~ Desmond Tutu

Once you can live with yourself, you still have to ask youself the question. Could I actually live with another man in my life? I dislike the one I am as it is. If I sound conflicted it is because I have been. It does not mean I am there now. It does mean I have been there.

Often I thought of what a revelation like this to the world at large could mean. Would it bug me, the conclusions that people could draw. Yes it could, but in the end those that know , know and for the rest, does it matter?

Wenchy and I still share a friendship. We had a good season, have our shared sorrows, regrets and responsibilties , made our apolologies and have moved on. I can only wish Wenchy everything good. I know that Wenchy shares the same sentiment for me. What went before does not matter anymore. We both agree we would have ended up where we are today, regardless of what path we chose.

I oft went cold with fear that I would loose my children. They love me regardless.

In a litany of personal acknowledgement I would like to thank (in no particular order), my brother Kevin, Marihanda, Janine, Stephen, Denise, Elize, Gavin, Erica, Gavin, Erica, (no it is not a typo), Jakes, Sonto, Shaun, Sean , Ray, Steven, Shane, Brett, Scott, Kevin, Tony, Brian, Jamie, Etienne, Mike, Ursula, My Therapist, Deborah, Craig, Francesca, Derek, Derick, Stephen,Kirk, Reid, Mike, Darryn, Rey, Brian, Harvey, Drew,RB, Paul, Timothy, Meryl, Andre (Regrettably, Postumously), Louwtjie, and Jen and a host of other fine men and woman. I still choke up thinking about the impact you all have. Each of you sowed, love , acceptance, a pearl of wisdom or gave unwavering support. THANK YOU.

This brings me to present day. Yes I am involved with a man. Jakes, mentioned above. He has perhaps answered more questions for me at a time I thought I was running out of questions to ask. He is sensitive, caring, patient, funny, affectionate, good to my children, and (dare I say sexy?) I am not looking for another parent for my children, they have quite enough. In Jakes they have a friend and who knows on a good day perhaps a common enemy...Me ;-). Both of us are very aware of the effect an emotional bond has on children, and will be mindful to make sure that come what may my children are not left hurting . He is a good man, of that I can be sure.

Always one to credit the photographer the photography and post editing was done by Christel my Ex spouse.

That aside I am living in the moment, one day at a time.

With Love

About music.....Again

2007-11-27T12:20:00.000+02:00

It really is true of me. Music has always been my first love. Perhaps, my first friend, my first comforter, my first seducer and my first and lifelong lover.

I watched The Shawshank Redemption this last weekend. (for the gazzillionth time). There is a scene in the movie where Andy Dufresne (played by Tim Robbins) hijacks the prison warders office and plays a piece of music over the prison intercom system. Perhaps the first music some of the occupants have heard in four decades. The scene is touching and the music is truly arrestingly beautiful. I did shed a tear or two.

To borrow a quote from the movie. : Morgan Freeman narrating as the character Red, "I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free."

For anyone who has the inclination the piece of music played is taken from Mozart's, Marriage of Figaro. It is an Aria titled Duettino - Sull.

To follow shortly, My review of the Eagles new album "A Long Road out of Eden"

It is tough working...............

2007-10-26T15:16:00.000+02:00

..........across the road from the stopping point for the Boks victory parade.

I am very proudly patriotically South African.

The Thumb says it.

I hope the sport administrators are paying attention.

This one is for you Katt.

He is the man

Captain, My Captain

One would think I am the jaded cynic.......

2007-09-05T10:16:00.000+02:00

.........but I guess not.

I have been toying with a few posts, and this one has jumped the queue. No, I am not walking down aisles or tying in knots. It would take years of therapy for that to happen.

This post is purely an acknowledgement to a friend, a lover, and someone exceptional. I love you now. I always will.

There are two kinds of readers on my blog.

2007-08-13T13:31:00.000+02:00

~~Those I have slept with and those I want ……………… um never mind, that has changed now.~~

Seriously, I believe I have some new readers on my blog so I want to take a moment to acknowledge them. I spent hours practicing typing this song so my typing should be pitch-perfect.

Sung in my best typing voice………with apologies to Oliver :-)

Consider yourself at home.
Consider yourself one of the family.
We've taken to you so strong.
It's clear we're going to get along.
Consider yourself well in
Consider yourself part to the furniture.
There isn't a lot to spare.
Who cares? Whatever we've going we share!

If it should chance to be
We should see
Some harder days
Empty larder days
Why grouse?
Always a-chance we'll meet
Somebody
To foot the bill
Then the drinks are on the house!
Consider yourself our mate.
We don't want to have no fuss,
For after some consideration, we can state...
Consider yourself
One of us!

All together on the Chorus now

And once more …………………with feeling

Aunty Dot, Uncle Doug, Mom Dad, welcome to my online world. Aunty Dot, know that you have been much in my thoughts. Let it be said again, in all sincerity welcome. It is nice to have you on board.

Gavin, Gloria, it is good to be in touch and welcome. I hope we can get together in real time and not just in Cyberspace

Tjaart, welkom. Die blog kort so ‘n bietjie Afrikaanse cultuur. (My spell checker just had a cadenza on that last sentence)

Sandy, again I say welcome. For you and others out there HNT outtakes are available on request ;-)

HNT, for those who want to know stands for Half Nekkid (sic) Thursdays. It was a web project, started with a basic guideline that you were to post a picture of yourself or someone you know. The picture does not have to include any nudity, and not all of mine do. It started as a bit of a lark, but grew into a popular web phenomenon. Rather eye opening was how many people it helped deal with and assortment of body/image issues. (I include myself there). For anyone who wants to know, the pictures featured on this blog are indeed of me.

To rest of the gang: Butterfly, Jane, Katt, Boet, M and a Pixie and a Troll or two. You are always welcome and thank you for just being there. For the record the Nome De Plumes are not just there to protect the innocent :-) . It’s a virtual world and people can be whomever they want to be. Captain-Equestria, did seem like a more likely superhero to me than Captain-Underpants.

Knowing my readership could now potentially include an older and respected generation, (mom and dad included) left me thinking would I censor what I post going forward. I could not do that. To do that would take away my integrity and leave me wretched.

Content here maybe be raw, risqué or contentious. It is what it is though, I will not change it. Any and all comments are welcome. If I will not censor myself, I will not censor you. This includes the older and respected generation. Anonymous commentary is also welcome.

So in wrapping this up, since I am actually been paid to work, not pander to an audience ;-) I am going to propose a virtual toast to one and all. Giving credit where it is due, I learnt this toast from my Boet. It should appeal to those of us who suffer from Gaelic Enchantment Syndrome.

So if you would please charge your glasses, cups of tea, cups of coffee, hip flask, and the energade bottle in the corner over there.

“Here’s to us
There’s min like us.
And the others are all dead.
SLANJOVA!”

*Insert your clinking sounds here.* I have no idea what “SLANJOVA!” means. It does sound grand to say it though, and the more you drink the grander it sounds.

You all take care of you.

Bits and bobs

2007-08-10T09:10:00.000+02:00

First off , for my faithful readership of three , I just wanna shout out about a new read of mine.The Patriot. I would encourage you to go take a look and perhaps even comment. It is a brand new blog and will form part of a research project. I humbly ask that you spread the word please. :)

It seems I am way short of blog fodder these days. I wanted to create a post that was filled with astute wisdom, stunning wit and inspiring reading. However you will have to settle for the mindless ramblings of a mad man.

On Love, I thought after the last two years of my life I may be the ultimate love cynic. Turns out I still believe in love. Maybe not quite as I did before, but it can still leave one breathless and enchanted.

On Life, The salt mine has been keeping me exceedingly busy. I am not complaning though. I do love my job. What more can one ask for.

I cannot believe my eldest turned 14 yesterday. Happy birthday Kevin. I love you my boy. (even if you dont like having you picture taken)
You are a far cry from the four year old tyrant who murdered the garden because the plants were evil;-). I am proud of you.

In a follow on to my last post about riding a new young stallion for the first time, Ruark is an amazing horse to ride. One day I hope he stops trying to kill me :) I have learnt just how a horse can in fact buck and rear. He keeps me in a transitional relationship with my saddle. In laymans terms it means he has me trolling for paramedics. More simply put he has made me bite the dirt, following an airborne equitation display. Basically I fell off at the gallop. It hurt.

In other news, I have taken up playing the piano again, as well as the guitar. I predict my relationship with my neighbours may sour as a result. (except for the old dearie on the first floor, being hard of hearing and all). I like her , she thinks I am HOT. Of course she is around 86 in the shade and her sight is probably failing ;).

Best I get some work done.

You all take care now.

A handsome Beast

2007-06-12T11:25:00.000+02:00

I wont say a lot here. He is a handsome beast of proud bearing. Meet Ruark the stallion. Saturday marks my first ride on him . I can't wait :).

Here he is kissing the girls. In this case the delectable Evil. Boys will be boys.

PS. If he looks a little wooly , its because he has his winter coat on.

Not living the unlived life.

2007-05-28T14:10:00.000+02:00

It has been a week of contemplation for me. A lot of rambling thoughts. Questions with answers that pose more questions.

Somewhere in my mental meanderings I have come to some conclusions. Hopefully I can express them at least a little coherently here.

On the premise that we are born to die, I can only think of two biblical characters off hand who beat those odds. Assuming that perhaps the bible is perhaps a work of fiction or else completely misunderstood, it does not bode well. I am going to die like everybody else.

I have never been afraid of death until now, not death itself but rather the life I will live until I die. A life lived in fear, a life that becomes banal, uninteresting even to myself. For a few months I know I lost the plot completely and drew into myself. No More.

I will not live an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible;
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to love
so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.

Dawna Markova

To not live an unlived live I realise is to require an absolute freedom, not bound by the shackles of my past, nor the shackles of a grafted on morality.

I would rather live a life guided by that which sits deep within me. An honest life that is true to me and true to those around me.

Accepting a freedom like that is both excitng and terrifying. How much do the points of reference on a moral compass shift, when reliant on purely ones sense of self and who one is?

I may add to this post still. Blogger will not let me save it in draft.

A bit of fun................

2007-05-09T18:40:00.000+02:00

Hey bloggy folk. I have a few posts I am toying with but am not ready to post, so in the mean time I figure I will give you something to look at.

Warning humour may get suspect in this blog. My mind warps a little when I am tired.

It's a fun meme. I am tempted to say if you are reading this consider yourself tagged :-)

Go to Wikipedia, and type in the month and day of your birth (no year). Then list 3 events, 2 birthdays and 1 death - I have added some commentry to my results since they seemed pertinent.

The Events
845 - Paris is sacked by Viking raiders, probably under Ragnar Lodbrok, who collects a huge ransom in exchange for leaving.
Whats pertinent here is actually the man who paid the ransom. "Charles the Bald". Looking at my hairline you will understand my affinity for the man.
1979 - British Prime Minister James Callaghan, is defeated by one vote in a Motion of No Confidence. This results in Parliament being dissolved in order to make way for a forthcoming General Election.
This one vote defeat paves the way for the Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher to come to power. Pertinent because in my distant youth I did Maggie Thatcher impersonations for my Grandmother's amusement. Now there is a scary thought ........LOL.

1994 - In South Africa, Zulus and African National Congress supporters battle in central Johannesburg, resulting in 18 deaths.
This particular event has a big impact on me. I was an eyewitness to this event. Seeing a man die being hacked to death with a panga (Farming implement with a large blade) less than ten metres from me has left some scars. The gun fire, the violence, and the terror of the people fleeing for their lives is etched deep within my mind. I was standing on Rissik Street locked out of my place of work, just a short run from Shell House where the massacre started.

Needless to say I did not celebrate my birthday that year. Remarkably just less than two weeks later South Africa turned the corner in its political strife and had it's first truly democratic election. It has been my privlege to have lived through some of this country's most monumental moments. By a twist of fate I was employed by an international news agency at the time and got to experience a lot of the buzz at very close range.

The Births
1613 - Xiaozhuangwen Grand Empress Dowager, Empress in Manchu
This is not pertinent at all. I just think it must suck to have a name like that.

1849 - James Darmesteter, French author and antiquarian
This is pertinent because like me he was well known for his really large uhm uh nevermind.......... Actually that last bit I just made up. This is actually pertinent because I dig old sh!t too ;-)

The Death
1987 - Maria von Trapp, Austrian-born singer
If you are not bursting into some sort of song now, I am bitterly dissapointed. The Sound of Music (1965 Version with Julie Andrews ) is one of my favourite movies. I watched it many times with my grandmother between Maggie Thatcher impersonations. ;-)

In one of those weird and unexplained ways, I have met a man in real life who I speak to frequently now, who was in fact intimately familiar with the Von Trapp family on who the movie was based. One of the first girls he ever dated in life was Gretl Von Trapp. (The little girl in the movie played by Kym Karath.)

By his first hand account Maria Von Trapp was a complete tyrant that in no way resembled the sweet Maria in the movie. Talk about killing my illusion.

In Parting I will offer a deep piece of dialogue from the movie.

Max: Friedrich, Gretl, why don't you sing?

Gretl: I can't, I've got a sore finger.

Maria: Gretl, what happened to your finger?

Gretl: It got caught.

Maria: Caught in what?

Gretl: Friedrich's teeth.

You all take care now peeps.

Oh My Consus - Where did you all come from?

2007-04-20T14:32:00.000+02:00

Welcome. Just for the record Consus is according to some mythology the God of Horses. Horses don't buy into blasphemy. When they say, "Oh My Consus" it is really an acknowledgement of an awesome four legged creature. If in doubt ask a horse :-)

Hopefully there are more celebrants than mourners here. I will warn you this post may be dis-jointed at best, and completely non-sensical at worst.

Furzl was good for for the time in which he lived. Furzl was too much part of a Duo that is no more. He will always be a part of me so I wont remove every reference to him.

I opted to be Just Brian since its the one person I can always be sure of being. Hmmmmm, I think I am a potential candidate for treatment for Multiple Personality Disorder. lol.

Credit for Captain-Equestria goes to M. Thank You. Captain Equestria plays right up to the little boy inside me who wants to race around having adventures on a horse. Who knew I would grow up to want to play a cowboy? It's not a mid-life crisis, I promise.

I found time spent with horses to be very therapeutic. Even the ones that dump me on the ground, offer their own comfort. I have kept a journal documenting my time spent on horseback. Perhaps I will place some of that journal here sometime. I have not done so to now because it is kind of personal and deals with some of the demons inside.

Horses offer great therapy. They are very forgiving, make few demands and some will tell you when you full of sh!t. I dont think I have been the best company always for the last several months, but my battery of therapists don't seem to care. Star, Casper, Midnight, Klein Tequila, Buck and my boy Britannica (My Adventure Horse - The Horse I gallop in my dreams). Thanks guys and gal (Midnight is the gal in the crowd).

Here's to new and good things

Lost my coat of many colours and feeling naked

2007-04-05T10:17:00.000+02:00

The mantle of a fairytale marriage

I wore a coat of many colours

The colour of a husband,

The father

The provider

The good son in law

The spiritual head

Tatters remain now,

Piece for piece, it had been stripped away.

Neither husband nor son in law

The provision not enough

Spiritually perhaps I will find a different god from the one I knew

I feel naked and tired.

one piece of coloured cloth remains

that of the father

perhaps faded in my childrens eyes

Stitching a new coat together from what remains

adding new colours I hope to find some vibrancy and identity

I know I cannot do it alone

The threads provided by a support system I stand in amazement of

From the East Rand to the Eastern Cape

From the West Rand to the posse who have never read this blog who span across to the Western United states

From the Northern Suburbs to the Netherlands.

To my Boet and M.

To my precious and fragile little ones.

I thank you all. It is good to know I have never walked alone.

Out of Africa

2007-03-23T06:49:00.000+02:00

Elephants walking

Along the trails

Are holding hands

By holding tails. - Lenore M. Link

What an awesome way to wile away a Sunday Afternoon. My brother and his wonderful wife treated the little ones and I to a visit to an Elephant Sanctuary in the North West Province.

This pic of them was not taken on the trip but I just love it.

Touching and amazing only begins to describe how awesome these great big gentle giants are.

Having just spent a morning with kids roughing each other up (and getting annoyed by it), it was fun to watch how young elephants behave the same way, Momma Elephant too looked annoyed after a while.

Most amazing for me was to see the Children and how they reacted to the elephants.

Even my little chicken who is afraid of all creatures living fed touched and interacted with these gorgeous creatures, and babbled not stop about it for the hours drive home. She took a liking to a little gentleman named Temba in particular.

Of course feeding the dude was just a grand thing to do.

Liam absolutely loved the experience and even took Pumba for a stroll. It is truly amazing to watch a little man lead a 4 ton giant around. All it took was a cupped hand which the elephant holds on to.

Even my City Slicker Kevin got into the action, and told me what a great time he had. Driving anywhere out of town often has Kevin acting as if the very world will end so I was amazed to say the least. No I wont post his picture here. My boy would rather sacrfice limbs than have his picture taken.

For those who are inclined to tactile experiences touching the elephants was something amazing. The elephant truly is a myriad of textures, bumpy and rough on top, bumpy and soft on its belly, The skin behind its ears velvet like. The hair on its tail like very thick fishing line. Its tongue slick and wet and smoother than glass. Most amazing for me had to be the underside of its feet. Not the rough calloused pad you may imagine, but rather a smooth soft very finely textured sponge.

Intriguing to me are the stories of an elephants legendary memory.

One such tale related on this trip is of an elephant orphaned as a youngster. It was raised by hand and then re - released into the wild. 17 years after this fact it was injured in a fight with a Hippopotomus. The elephant suffered a large open wound on it's leg that required treatment. Elephants because of their size cannot be safely sedated and this one was in pain making it unapproachable to boot. Her original keeper was tracked down and after 17 years of running wild, her keeper approached her with a simple, "Hello, my girl". The elephant allowed the wound to be cleaned and treated by her handler with no resistance whatsoever. She still knew and trusted that person.

Every so often I am struck by being in the presence of some ancient wisdom far greater than I could hope to understand. It’s a feeling I very much associate with being African. If I am totally honest about it, something about these magnificent creatures touched me so intently I stood to the side hoping no one would notice my tears.

Of fun, farewells and seeping black loneliness.......

2006-11-29T10:29:00.000+02:00

I had a good weekend if one removes the hours spent working.

My garden has been planted. Something I first grew to love in my bachelor days was rose trees. I started growing them in pots on the balconey of the little pad in which I used live. Well since I am on my own again and have a balconey it stands to reason I would again have a rose tree. Kevin, Marihanda, thank you for a bit of Black Magic.
.

Self indulgently I did go horse riding again on Sunday. Awesome ride on Casper, a horse with a stride that is just awesome. Cantering with Casper is a little like riding a rocking horse with wings.

On the farewell side I feel surprisingly heartsore to say goodbye to my feline friend who adopted me when I moved. It seems Frank has moved on. Every evening I feel a dull ache. I miss the little dude waiting for me when I arrive home with his friendly hello and playful paws. Farewell and Adieu Frank. I hope you found a greener pasture with lots of critters to chase. In your own feline way you made my first uncertain moments of a new life that much easier. I miss you dammit.
.

Maybe the loss of Frank combined with having good weekends is making the week nights seem just a little to rough right now. I have found the last few nights to be very lonely. Not just for a lack of companionship but the physical presence of another person. Yes, I have friends and family I could go see, I cannot do that all the time though. Fuel Bills offer a big restraint for me right now. Anyway enough of that blues song pity party.

On the upside, my kiddies are all coming this weekend. I look forward to seeing them. :)

In other news just in I have borrowed a bicycle and hope to start cycling this evening.

Okay thats me in a nutshell

Punch Buggies and Hug Buggies.........

2006-11-06T11:54:00.000+02:00

The kids have had a long standing game called Punch Buggy. The rules are simple the first person to spot a Volksie Beetle gets to thump the others with the words Punch Buggy, Nix. The nix been all important, since you don't wanna get thumped in return.

Of course it is not hard to imagine that sometimes the punches are a little too vigourous and the game can rapidly collapse into misery and tears. So after another game collapse a few weeks ago that ended in tears, I implemented a new rule in dad's car. Any child who plays Punch Buggy, would be would be the receipient of all kinds of punishment. No more punch buggies would be tolerated. The kids been resourceful and not wanting to give up on the competitive nature of the game, devised the all new and improved Hug Buggy. Every time a Volksie Beetle is spotted hugs are freely and vigourously dished out. Now that I do not mind been the receipient off.

When I feel like I need some cuddles from my kids I will be taking them past my new favourite car dealership. Victoria had her first trip there this weekend.

On Friday evening I took daddies little chicken (Victoria) to a Halloween bash held at her cousins Erin and Dylan's school. Mayhem and magic ensued for the Cat, the Vampire and the man with the gunshot wounds. Dylan was the perfect gentleman, and escorted Victoria through the cave of terror multiple times, ensuring that Victoria's cup of Hot Chocolate did not run empty. The adults, got to spend time sipping cocktails and smoking a cigar or two. A fine evening.
This is the view of Brixton around nightfall.

Saturday, Victoria and I spent at the swimming pool complete with a picnic lunch. A nice lazy day. Four and a half hours of swimming left at least one of us exhausted. I promised Victoria a nice roast with potatoes , pumpkin, vegetables and rice. I prepared the promised meal, unfortunately chicks was fast asleep long before dinner was served. I figured at least I have a nice lunch already prepared now for the next day An early night for both of us.

Early Sunday morning I was woken by a very hungry chicken. It seemed like a good idea to go and explore the new Argentinian Bakery that had opened up across the road within the last week. So pasteries in hand we took walk around the neighbourhood.
It was nice just walking, talking and listening to the birds and distant churchbells.

After our walk we took drive out to the Rosebank fleamarket. It was nice to walk around eating ice cream and looking at the stalls. Victoria was enchanted by all the esoteric stalls that had either fairies or crystals. Daddy's new age Chicken ;)

Our roasted lunch was yummy even if I do say so myself. The afternoon was spent at my brothers place, afterwhich I took my chicken home.

The hardest part for me about weekends with the kids,(be it one or all of them), is taking them home and saying goodbye on Sunday Evenings.

A few Sundowners at my Brothers place in the evening went down rather well and eased the moment. Thanks Guys

Overall a good weekend.

A weekend review

2006-10-29T22:56:00.000+02:00

Sunday eve has arrived. Monday looms.

I can't complain. The weekend was really awesome. Realisng just how pretty the old Jacaranda tree was outside my bedroom window set the tone for the weekend.

I had the pleausure today to be invited to go horse riding on a game farm. Time on a horse is irresitable. Add to that a lot of open space with wild game roaming around and good company. The views from the koppies are astounding. I could not believe I was a mere 30 minute drive from home. Mindblowingly wonderful. Sheeeeeze does my ass hurt now though :)

Meet my closest companion for the Afternoon. A consumate gentleman if ever I met one. Star is one of the sweetest fellows you could meet. Highly adaptable and very accomodating for the inexperienced rider.

Aside from that, I had the pleasure of not one but two dinners in the company of my friend Stephen and his wife Denise. Thanks guys it was awesome. There is so much pleasure to be found in close company spending time listening to good music. A friendship that spans 25 years running to early grade school warrants a special mention. This friendship has been a constant in my life, and I know always will be. I hold that friendship sacred. Stephen, Happy Birthday for Monday Big Guy. I love ya Big Guy.

Just returned from a cup of coffee and some yummy choc chip scones , at my boetie and sussies place. (translates to my brother and his wife) . Kevin, Marihanda, thanks for your love, support and friendship. I am not gonna ramble here to long, coz I get kinda choked up. Just know I love you guys.

As if my weekend was not full enough I still need to mention a house warming I went too. In an effort to widen my social circle I have made some new friends. The evening was spent eating, drinking, chatting, laughing and in the midst of that a completely baffling card game called UNO. Okay you have probably all played the game before , but it was my first time, and my slightly slowed festive mind had some difficulty in grasping the finer nuances of what the hell was actually going on.

Lastly I want to mention a conversation I had that centers on writing. It left me with a lot of food for thought. I am of the belief all of us have a book in us somewhere. Not everyone will write a book and I suspect I am one of those. (Can I mention that I really hope that the other party to this conversation does.) I dont think I have the creative capacity to create fiction, nor the emotional capacity to write from life. It again begs the question for me, Why do you blog? I know for a period of time I did hoping for a few comments. Now I am not sure. I think it has a lot more to do with having a space that enables human contact, albeit in a virtual world. So why do you blog? (yes I have asked this before).

lol, and yes there were a lot of "I" statements in this post. My english teacher would shoot me.

Moving and meeting the neigbhours..............

2006-10-18T12:34:00.000+02:00

Well it's been a few weeks now since I moved into my new place (flat or apartment depending where in the world you are from). Befriended my first Neighboour, or rather was adopted as a pet by Frank. Frank has the blue'est eyes I have ever seen on a cat. He declined to show them off for a photograph and who am I to argue. Here he is on my car. Sorry it's blurred but you get the idea.

Moving has taken some adjusment. I miss the ambient noise of the kids at night. Their sleepy little snuffles, mumbles snores and sometimes laughter in their sleep.

I do find I am struggling to find some kind of rythym when it comes to the domestic side of things. Still I figure if my bed is made and the dishes are done before I head out for the day I am doing alright.

The highlight for me since moving was having the kids over for the weekend. I was relieved to see them settle in an sleep well in a new environment. It was great to spend the time with them. We spent a lot of time playing cards. Who knew I could be an old maid so many times? :). I have opted not to have a television since there is nothing about a television that holds any lasting fascination for me. I was astounded to learn kids can fight over who is listening to what radio station though.

I have named their room the dormitory since they all sleep in straight line. There is something reminiscent for me about the story of the three bears here.

Notably Victoria has taken a liking to Frank, in a I enjoy the adrenalin rush when you come near me because I am scared of you kind of way. She often enquires after the health of Frank on the phone.

Anyway thats me in a nutshell for now.

Peace.

To my precious ones...............

2006-09-11T09:32:00.000+02:00

Daddy is so sorry, I hope one day you can understand and forgive me.

Precious, penned by Martin Gore - Depeche Mode

Precious and fragile things
Need special handling
My God what have we done to You?

We always try to share
The tenderest of care
Now look what we have put You through...

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

Angels with silver wings
Shouldn't know suffering
I wish I could take the pain for you

If God has a master plan
That only He understands
I hope it's your eyes He's seeing through

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

I pray you learn to trust
Have faith in both of us
And keep room in your hearts for two

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

Libido Killer discovered in South Africa.............

2006-08-16T14:41:00.000+02:00

.....or lost in translation

Photographed in a cosmetics shop not far from here.

Can you say exfoliate?

Too beautiful for this world.

2006-07-17T12:46:00.000+02:00

Granoela, Godspeed. I pray you are at rest my friend.

He never done no wrong
He never done no wrong
A thousand miles from home
And he never harmed no one
And he was a friend of mine

He was a friend of mine
He was a friend of mine
Every time I hear his name
Lord I just can't keep from cryin'
'Cause he was a friend of mine.

Hey good people of the USA.

2006-04-18T09:34:00.000+02:00

Today is National Blog Voter Registration day. I did promise more information on this.

Yes my South African ass is meddling in the affairs of another country again. Now more than ever Americans need to stand up and be counted, not just for the sake of America but the rest of the world who is hugely impacted by the policies of the present American administration.

I did take My two youngest offspring for an active demontration of our own democratic process when I went to vote in our most recent elections. Liam thought voting was cool. Victoria thought it was boring. I would also have thought it boring at the tender age of 6. I did explain the importance of voting to them. I figure it's never to early to start. I am not offering a picture of my naked ass on this one, Ain't you all grateful. Here is a pic of my South African Voter registration instead. I have blurred out my own ID Number for obvious reasons.

If you think your vote does not make a difference consider this.

1. In 1845, one vote brought Texas into the Union. (Source: Texas State Library and Archives Commission)

2. In 1876, one vote gave Rutherford B. Hayes the presidency of the United States. (Source: www.historychannel.com)

3. In 1960, one vote per precinct elected John F. Kennedy the President of the United States. (Source: John F. Kennedy Library and Museum)

Your vote counts - but you can't vote if you're not registered!

State Voter Registration Requirements and Information

Click on your state name to go to their voter registration information site. Please pass this information on to family, friends, acquaintenances, and work associates.

ALABAMA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a citizen of Alabama and your county at the time of registration
Be 18 years old before any election
Not have been convicted of a felony punishable by imprisonment in the penitentiary (or have had your civil and political rights restored)
Not currently be declared mentally incompetent through a competency hearing
Swear or affirm to "support and defend the Constitution of the U.S. and the State of Alabama and further disavow any belief or affiliation with any group which advocates the overthrow of the governments of the U.S. or the State of Alabama by unlawful means and that the information contained herein is true, so help me God"

ALASKA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be at least 18 years old within 90 days of this registration
Not be a convicted felon (unless unconditionally discharged)
Not be judicially determined to be of unsound mind, unless the disability has been removed
Not be registered to vote in another State

ARIZONA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Arizona and your county at least 29 days preceding the next election
Be 18 years old on or before the next general election
Not have been convicted of treason or a felony (or have had your civil rights restored)
Not currently be declared an incapacitated person by a court of law

ARKANSAS

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Live in Arkansas at the address in Box 2 of your voter application
Be at least 18 years old on or before the next election
Not be a convicted felon (or have completely discharged your sentence or been pardoned)
Not claim the right to vote in any other jurisdiction

CALIFORNIA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of California
Be at least 18 years of age at the time of the next election
Not be imprisoned or on Parole for the conviction or a felony
Not currently be judged mentally incompetent by a court of law.

COLORADO

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Colorado 30 days prior to election
Be 18 years old on or before election day
Not be confined as a prisoner or serving any part of a sentence under mandate

CONNECTICUT

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Connecticut and of the town in which you wish to vote
Be 18 years old on or before the next election
Not be convicted of a felony, except conviction for the crime of nonsupport (or have had your civil rights restored)

DELAWARE

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a permanent resident of Delaware
Be at least 18 years old on the date of the next general election
Not be a convicted felon
Not be mentally incompetent

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of the District of Columbia at least 30 days preceding the next election
Be at least 18 years old on or preceding the next election
Not be in jail for a felony conviction
Not have been judged "mentally incompetent" by a court of law
Not claim the right to vote anywhere outside D.C.

FLORIDA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a legal resident of both the Florida and of the county in which you seek to be registered
Be 18 years old (you may pre-register if you are 17)
Not now be adjudicated mentally incapacitated with respect to voting in Florida or any other State

GEORGIA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a legal resident of Georgia and of the county in which you want to vote
Be 18 years old within six months after the day of registration, and be 18 years old to vote,
Not be serving a sentence for having been convicted of a felony
Not have been judicially determined to be mentally incompetent, unless the disability has been removed

HAWAII

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Hawaii
Be at least 16 years old (you must be 18 years old by election day in order to vote)
Not be in jail for a felony conviction
Not be "non compos mentis"

IDAHO

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of and in the county for 30 days prior to the day of election
Be at least 18 years old
Not have been convicted of a felony, and without having been restored to the rights of citizenship, or confined in prison on conviction of a criminal offense

ILLINOIS

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Illinois and of your election precinct at least 30 days before the next election
Be at least 18 years old on of before the next election
Not be in jail for a felony conviction
Not claim the right to vote anywhere else

INDIANA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident in the precinct at least 30 days before the next election
Be at least 18 years of age on the day of the next general election
Not currently be in jail for a criminal conviction

IOWA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Iowa
Be at least 17- 1/2 years old (you must be 18 to vote)
Not have been convicted of a felony (or have had your rights restored)
Not currently be judged "mentally incompetent" by a court
Not claim the right to vote in more than one place
Give up the right to vote in any other place

KANSAS

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Kansas
Be 18 by the next statewide general election
Not be imprisoned for conviction in any state or federal court of a crime punishable by death or imprisonment for one year or longer (or have had your civil rights restored)
Not claim the right to vote in any other location or under any other name
Not be excluded from voting for mental incompetence by a court of competent jurisdiction

KENTUCKY

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Kentucky
Be a resident of the county for at least 28 days prior to the election date
Be 18 years of age on or before the next general election
Not be a convicted felon or if you have been convicted of a felony, your civil rights must have been restored by executive pardon
Not having been judged "mentally incompetent" in a court of law
Not claim the right to vote anywhere outside of Kentucky

LOUISIANA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Louisiana
Be at least 17 years old, and be 18 years old prior tot he next election to vote
Not currently be under an order of imprisonment for conviction of a felony
Not currelnly be under a judgment of interdiction for mental incompetence

MAINE

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Maine and the municipality in which you want to vote
Be at least 17 years old (you must be 18 years old to vote)
Not be under guardianship because of mental illness

MARYLAND

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Maryland and the county in which you want to vote
Be at least 18 years old before the next general election
Not be under sentence or on probation or parole following conviction for an infamous crime (that is, any felony, treason, perjury, or any crime involving an element of deceit, fraud or corruption)
Not have been convicted more than once of an infamous crime, without a pardon
Not be under guardianship for mental disability

MASSACHUSETTS

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Massachusetts
Be 18 years old
Not have been convicted of corrupt practices in respect to elections
Not be under guardianship with respect to voting

MICHIGAN

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Michigan and at least a 30-day resident of your city or township by election day
Be 18 years old by the next election
Not be confined in a jail after being convicted and sentenced

MINNESOTA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Minnesota for 20 days before the next election
Be 18 years old by election day
Not be convicted of treason or a felony; or have had your civil rights restored
Not be under guardianship of the person or found legally incompetent

MISSISSIPPI

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Have lived in Mississippi and in your county (and city, if applicable) 30 days before the election in which you want to vote
Be 18 years old by the time of the general election in which you want to vote
Have not been convicted of murder, rape, bribery, theft, arson, obtaining money or goods under false pretense, perjury, forgery, embezzlement, or bigamy, or have had your rights restored as required by law
Not have been declared mentally incompetent by a court

MISSOURI

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Missouri
Be at least 17-1/2 years of age (you must be 18 to vote)
Not be on probation or parole after conviction of a felony, until finally discharged from such probation or parole
Not be convicted of a felony or misdemeanor connected with the right of suffrage
Not be declared incompetent by any court of law
Not be confined under a sentence of imprisonment

MONTANA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Montana and of the county in which you want to vote for at least 30 days before the next election
Be at least 18 years of age on or before the election
Not be in a penal institution for a felony conviction
Not currently be determined by a court to be of unsound mind
Meet these qualifications by the next election day if you do not currently meet them

NEBRASKA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Nebraska
Be at least 18 years of age or will be 18 years of age on or before the first Tuesday after the first Monday of November
Not have been convicted of a felony, or if convicted, have had your civil rights restored
Not have been officially found to be mentally incompetent

NEVADA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Have attained the age of 18 years on the date of the next election
Have continuously resided in the State of Nevada, in your county, at least 30 days and in your precinct at least 10 days before the next election
Not currently be laboring under any felony conviction or other loss of civil rights that would make it unlawful for you to vote
Not be determined by a court of law to be mentally incompetent
Claim no other place as your legal residence

NEW HAMPSHIRE

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be at least 18 years of age
Have a permanent established domicile in the State of New Hampshire
Not having been denied the right to vote by reason of a felony conviction

NEW JERSEY

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of New Jersey and county at your address at least 30 days before the next election
Be at least 18 years of age by the time of the next election
Not be serving a sentence or on parole or probation as the result of a conviction of any indictable offense under the laws of this or another state or of the United States

NEW MEXICO

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of New Mexico
Be at least 18 years of age at the time of the next election
Not have been denied the right to vote by a court of law by reason of mental incapacity or felony conviction

NEW YORK

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of the county, or of the City of New York, at least 30 days before an election
Be 18 years old by the date of the general, primary, or other election in which your want to vote
Not be in jail or on parole for a felony conviction
Not currently be judged incompetent by order of a court of competent judicial authority
Not claim the right to vote elsewhere

NORTH CAROLINA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident North Carolina and the county in which your live for at least 30 days prior to the election
Be 18 years of age by the day of the next general election
Have your rights of citizenship restored if you have been convicted of a felony
Not be registered to vote in any other county or state

NORTH DAKOTA

North Dakota does not have voter registration

OHIO

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Ohio for at least 30 days before an election
Be 18 years old on or before election day. If you will be 18 on or before the day of the general election, you may vote in the primary election for candidates only.
Not be convicted of a felony and currently incarcerated
Not be found incompetent by a court for purposes of voting

OKLAHOMA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States and a resident of Oklahoma
Be 18 year old on or before the date of the next election
Have not been convicted of a felony, for which a period of time equal to the original sentence has not expired, or for which you have not been pardoned
Not now be under judgment as an incapacitate person, or a partially incapacitated person prohibited from registering to vote

OREGON

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Oregon
Be at least 18 years old by election day

PENNSYLVANIA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States at least one month before the next election
Be a resident of Pennsylvania and your election district at least 30 days before the election
Be at least 18 years of age on the day of the next election
Not have been confined in a penal institution for the conviction of a felony within the last 5 years

RHODE ISLAND

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Rhode Island for 30 days preceding the next election
Be 18 years old by election day
Be neither serving a sentence, including probation nor parole, for which you were imprisoned, upon final conviction of a felony imposed on any date; nor serving any sentence, whether incarcerated or suspended, on probation or parole, upon final conviction of a felony committed after November 5, 1986
Not have been lawfully judged to be mentally incompetent

SOUTH CAROLINA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of South Carolina
Be at least 18 years old on or before the next election
Not be confined in any public prison resulting from a conviction of a crime
Never have been convicted of a felony or offense against the election laws, or if previously convicted, have served your entire sentence, including probation or parole, or have received a pardon for the conviction
Not be under a court order declaring you mentally incompetent
Claim the address on the application as your only legal place of residence and claim no other place as your legal residence

SOUTH DAKOTA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Reside in South Dakota
Be 18 years old by the next election
Not be under a sentence of imprisonment for a felony conviction
Not have been adjudged mentally incompetent by a court

TENNESSEE

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Tennessee
Be at least 18 years old on or before the next election
Not have been convicted of a felony, or if convicted, have had your full rights of citizenship restored (or have received a pardon)
Not be adjudicated incompetent by a court of competent jurisdiction (or have been restored to legal capacity)

TEXAS

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of the county in which the application for registration is made
Be at least 17 year and 10 months old (you must be 18 to vote)
Not be finally convicted of a felony. (Felons regain the right to register when pardoned, two years after receiving a certificate of discharge from the appropriate correction institution, or two years after completing a period of probation.)
Have not been declared mentally incompetent by final judgment of a court of law

UTAH

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident in Utah for 30 days immediately before the next election
Be at least 18 years old on or before the next election
Not be convicted of treason or crime against the elective franchise, unless restored to civil rights
Not be found to be mentally incompetent by a court of law

VERMONT

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Vermont
Be 18 years of age on or before election day

VIRGINIA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Virginia and of the precinct in which you want to vote
Be 18 years old by the next election
Not have been convicted of a felony, or have had your civil rights restored
Not currently be declared mentally incompetent by a court of law

WASHINGTON

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a legal resident of Washington state, your county and precinct for 30 days immediately preceding the election in which you want to vote
Be at least 18 years old by election day
Not be convicted of infamous crime, unless restored to civil rights
Not be judicially declared mentally incompetent

WEST VIRGINIA

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Live in West Virginia
Be 18 years old, or to vote in the primary, be 17 years old and turning 18 before the general election
Not be under conviction, probation or parole for a felony, treason or election bribery
Not have been judged "mentally incompetent" in a court of competent jurisdiction

WISCONSIN

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be a resident of Wisconsin for at least 10 days
Be 18 years old
Not have been convicted of treason, felony or bribery, or have had your civil rights restored
Not have been found by a court to be incapable of understanding the objective of the electoral process
Not make or benefit from a bet or wage depending on the result of an election

WYOMING

You must:

Be a citizen of the United States
Be an actual and physically bona fide resident of Wyoming
Be 18 years of age on the day of the next election
Not be convicted of a felony or if so, have had your rights restored by a competent authority
Not be a currently adjudicated as mentally incompetent

Source: Federal Election Commission

and you thought I had forgotten HNT

2006-03-22T22:16:00.000+02:00

Presenting my mostly naked thigh. Happy HNT folk

To find out why I do this click the image below

Calling all Americans HNT week

2006-02-06T08:20:00.000+02:00

If you are a citizen of the U.S.A please read the post, if not please read it anyway, and spread the word

You're pissed off. You don't like the actions taken by your Administration and/or by a whole lot of your elected officials. You can sit around and complain and do nothing else - or - you can get off of your butt and start to take action. The choice is yours. But what you do, or don't do, will have an impact on what happens in your country. (to the rest of the world believe me this affects you too)

The first step? Get registered to vote and work to get others registered to vote. That's the way we change things in your country. If every U.S. reader of this blog would go out and get 5 people a month to register to vote ... and if those five people went out and got 5 other people registered to vote ... well, you can see the potential.

You'll hear more about this in the coming weeks (National Blog Voter Registration Day - April 18th). I am including a link to Project Vote Smart. (PVS) for each of the states, where you can find out more information on voting records, etc., of your elected officials. (Please let me know if you find any broken or mis-labeled links).

Take that first step. Get involved. Please join the fight. (Feel free to copy, link, or whatever to this post - anything to get the information out)

And Now speaking of getting off your butt, here is mine.

To find out why I do this click the image below

Consequence................

2006-02-01T10:10:00.000+02:00

I have previously written about the origin of the name Furzl, Furzl reflecting a sound I heard while hallucinating thanks to the ingestion of LSD.

Being clean for perhaps 10 years, acid flash backs have become less and for the most part have occured in the comfort of my bed. I can ride them out no harm done.

I was somewhat taken by surprise this morning at my desk, when I started seeing a colourful flickers across my screen that seemed to spread out to the sides across my desk over my phone and up the wall, on the other side across my desk and onto a collegue. I could not see the characters on my screen to carry on typing. By the time the metallic taste crept into my mouth it dawned on me what was happening.

Understanding that not every trip feels good, I felt like utter crap, completely out of myself and dysfunctional. Everything became too bright and too loud. I switched off my screen and shut my eyes. that killed the brightness but not the sound or the colour.

Thankfully I am busy with month end functions so people tend not to disturb me.
A collegue who hung out in his youth at the same respectable establishments I did, did notice me and took a frighteningly accurate guess at why I looked like did. He then offered to put on some appropriate psychedelic music. Sick man.

I feel normal again now. A bizarre surreal experince of perhaps twenty minutes of office life. Just exhausted and craving sweetness. I hope I don't experience that again.

I think I have a renewed regret for indulging in chemicals.

Nightswimming HNT...... X 2 since I missed last week.

2006-01-19T00:01:00.000+02:00

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago,
Turned around backwards so the windshield shows
Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse
Still, it's so much clearer
I forgot my shirt at the water's edge
The moon is low tonight

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
I'm not sure all these people understand
It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water
They cannot see me naked
These things, they go away,
Replaced by everyday

Nightswimming, remembering that night
September's coming soon
I'm pining for the moon
And what if there were two
Side by side in orbit
Around the fairest sun?
That bright, tight forever drum
Could not describe nightswimming

You, I thought I knew you
You, I cannot judge
You, I thought you knew me,
This one laughing quietly underneath my breath
Nightswimming

The photograph reflects,
Every streetlight a reminder
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night, deserves a quiet night

- with thanks to REM.

To find out why I do this click the image below

Rainy day's and Monday.

2006-01-16T21:34:00.000+02:00

Thanks good people for your thoughts on death last week. Our receptionist is not really the hugging kind of person. I opted just to tell her I have no words for her that would not sound empty, and that she was in my thoughts. She seemed appreciative of that.

It was a simple but honest way to deal with it. While I don't usually avoid a situation involving bereavement, when someone loses a child it is just that much more difficult.

So onto this weeks news. Some months ago my company approached me asking me if I would be interested in doing a first aid course. Being a responsible parent with wee folk in the home I thought this is not a bad thing. Sure I will render the odd bit of first aid to a collegue, but it would be great to have up to date info on what to do if something happens to one of the kids.

The first aid course got expanded in a complete assesment of the Occupational Health and Safety Act. (This is the law that governs health and safety in the workplace as well as the impact on the environment.). Just what a computer geek does not need to be doing.

So today I attended the first day of the course.

I hate been in a classroom situation, so I figured I would do what always do. I decided to fly below the radar and sit at the back of the class where I would not be noticed. This seemed like a really sharp shoot kind of plan. So I arrived at the class this morning, a short 100 km drive, (60 Miles for you imperial folk) early. I want to be sure of my seat in the back row................................

TOTAL STUDENTS ON THE COURSE....................... 1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was the soul student . Just me and the lecturer. I sat under his nose the entire day and was personally tutored in the Occupational Health ans Safety Act. At least I can't complain that the lecturer did not devote enough time to my questions.

That said Judas (that was his name) was a great lecturer. There was certain pleasure in conversing with him over lunch and tea breaks. He is of theTswana tribe, a forward thinking African man who clings to his culture with pride. He told me of his plans to marry at the end of the year. He insists on paying a lobola for his bride. Lobola been an african tradition whereby a the groom pays the brides parents for what they have invested in making the bride who she is.

His clothing though can be found only in upmarket stores. No cow skins for him he says.

Tomorrow I face The Act part 2

All kinds of everything...............

2006-01-10T13:17:00.000+02:00

Sometimes one is at a loss for words. The last two days I find myself avoiding the reception area of our company because I don't want to speak to the receptionist. What do you say to a woman who has just lost her son in a motorbike accident. Everytime a parent buries a child I feel something is badly out of place in this world.

Evidence of debauched new years parties. Or is that HNT?

2006-01-05T00:07:00.000+02:00

Here I am
just after midnight
on the 1'st of January 2006.
Safe, sober and at home......

..........Nekkid by candlelight naturally.

Wishing you all an amazing, spectacular 2006
filled with love, laughter, prosperity
and perhaps a little nekkidness

If you are still wondering what this is about,

please click the
Half-Nekkid Thursday image below

Thursday rocks........ and two pics to boot.

2005-12-29T00:44:00.000+02:00

This week I got clever and checked in with the mother ship to see if there may be some special instructions before I posted. I don't want to screw it up two weeks running.

That said my favourite HNT pic is the one above. I liked it so much I decided to use it as part of my blog header. The reasons it's my favourite are :

1. It was my virgin HNT post (they say you always remember your first.)

2. It features me doing one of my favourite things (Insert bad taste other favourite activities with my hands wise crack here).

3. I think it's the best pic I ever took of myself (thank goodness for tripods and time delay cameras).

Bonus installment can be found below. Yes I was reading again.

If you are still wondering what this is about,
please click the
Half-Nekkid Thursday image below

Nigerian Wisdom.................. and HNT

2005-12-22T00:00:00.000+02:00

I will start with a Nigerian proverb of wisdom.
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Hold a true friend with both your hands.
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You can interpret that as you wish
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Happy HNT folks.

My wife Wenchy took the pic

To find out why I do this click the image below

Nekkid with John ......... HNT Time

2005-12-15T00:30:00.000+02:00

John Irving that is. I am reading his latest book, "Until I find you." Give me I comfy spot and a good read. Bliss. Happy HNT folk.

My wife Wenchy took the pic

To find out why I do this click the image below

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How on earth did we live without the internet?

2005-12-12T15:35:00.000+02:00

This weekend's broadband failure made me realise just how much of life is online these days.

I feel perhaps a little sad that our children may never have the experience of placing a large clunky encylopedia on the library table, and flipping it open to research an assignment. The scent of the paper and students who went before.

Nostalgia is something else.

You will always find me in the kitchen a parties.....Reflective HNT

2005-12-08T00:00:00.000+02:00

I realised the kitchen has a lot of reflective surfaces offering a number of HNT possibilities. Depending which way I stand I could expose different nekkid bits on different surfaces. Anyway nuff said, "Tea is served"

To find out why I do this click the image below

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My job and why leave scares me.

2005-12-07T13:50:00.000+02:00

A short and sweet post. I got asked why I don't take extended periods of leave. I have trust issues.

I will draw upon the wisdom of Beethoven for this.

Ludwig van Beethoven: [completely deaf, he is watching musicians perform his "Kreutzer" violin sonata], " I can't hear them, but I know that they are making a hash of it. "

Technology at play.

2005-12-05T15:52:00.000+02:00

Welcome to my first post from my cell phone. Impractical but I want to see if it works.

HNT. The navel that is.... or the piercing that was

2005-12-01T00:00:00.000+02:00

Happy HNT folk.

My wife Wenchy took the pic

To find out why I do this click the image below

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Random rants and thoughts.

2005-11-27T20:25:00.000+02:00

Part 1- A welcome

Thanks to everyone who subscribed to my blog. In all seriousness. I am flattered/Honoured
A special welcome to the one reader whose email addy I did not recognise. I am sure they will know who they are.

Part 2 - They know it all about everything

Don'tcha just love finding yourself in the company of someone who has seen it all, done it all, done it bigger and better. You can't tell them anything about any topic because they are and expert in every field.

My first real experience with this was a couple of years back at a school fete for one of the kids. I volunteered to make pancakes that day. I am sure I could see Wenchy grinning in the background as I endured hours of delightful conversation Madam X (Identity's have been changed to protect the guilty).

You would swear that the good lord had only ever bestowed the gift of making pancakes on one person in the world and it was not me. Even in the face of a mounting pile of burned evidence (Madam X's pile) Madam X felt the continued need to coach me in the finer art of pancake making. Of course in those few hours I also learn't how little I know about computers, music production, asthma , world peace, motorcars and any other topic that came up during our time together. Clearly Madam X knew everything. Being the diplomat I am I kept my peace.

I was not terribly surprised to see Madam X volunteer as a musician for a small music group and immediatley to step up and volunteer to save the Choirmaster from their own ignorance.

I guess I am never sure how to adequately deal with people who are like that. How do you meaningfully converse with someone who considers themselve surperior to everyone in every way.

Sometimes it helps to call them out on their knowledge. Of course in a case like this you have to be sure you know more than them.

Part 3 - People you are never sorry to see.

This part of my blog is just an acknowledgement of two people I don't often see but when I do I always find it pleasant to spend some time with them. I was relieved today when I was expecting to have to spend time with a group of strangers to find Jonathan and Jenny there. It's is always a pleasure to see them.

Part 4 - My Brother

I just thought about him a lot today. In case you have not got this clear I love the man. I am hugely proud of his achievements.

Part 5 - Responsible parenting.

Saw this today and it freaks me out. A vechile being driven by a parent who has responsibly strapped themselves in while the child who is maybe all of three years old is standing on the front seat.

For goodness sake are you that arrogant as to presume you can't be involved in an accident.
I hope for your child's sake and for yours that you never have to face that harsh reality.

Part 6 - John Irving.

I just wanted to pay homage to my favourite author. I am busy reading Until I find you . The man is a master of penmanship.

The smallest bookstore still contains more ideas of worth than have been presented in the entire history of television. ~Andrew Ross

Nekkid by the pool ...relaxing ...... contemplating HNT......bliss.

2005-11-24T00:09:00.000+02:00

Happy HNT folks. Have a good one all.

My wife Wenchy took the pic

To find out why I do this click the image below

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Welcome one and all, old and new

2005-11-22T18:54:00.000+02:00

With the move virtually complete I hope I can have some trouble free blogging.

Depending on your luck you may have read yesterdays blog tommorrow and todays has disappeared completely.

Hopefully people based in South Africa will be able to have their say as well now.

If you want to subscribe to this blog please use the link on the right. I undertake not to distribute your email address to anyone unless I get a good offer from EBAY. :-) Really ..... no serious. it's just a joke . I won't. Now subscribe quick . The first 200 hundred subscribers will recieve not zero but one free uncut, uncropped, unedited (read no naughty bits removed) HNT pic from my personal stash.

Welcome friends and foes, earthbound and alien.

Candy Striped HNT............................

2005-11-17T12:20:00.000+02:00

Ooooops I can't think of anything to say with this post. Have a good day all.

My wife Wenchy took the pic

To find out why I do this click the pic

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HNT so clean you could show your grandmother.

2005-11-10T12:15:00.000+02:00

I was fully nekkid at the time though.

OOOOOOO a shower shot ;-)

My wife Wenchy took the pic

To find out why I do this click the pic

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Those who have seen your face.............Uh Oh HNT snuck up on me.

2005-11-03T12:08:00.000+02:00

Hello Blog world.

I was considering putting up some of the outakes from last weeks HNT post but decide to spare everyone including me. So here it is a little something from the front.

The supremely talented photographer who took this pic was my wife Wenchy

To find out why I do this click the pic

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Where the angels kissed me..........aka HNT time.

2005-10-27T11:00:00.000+02:00

Victoria was born with a large birth mark on her neck . On seeing it Wenchy's mom told us that is where the angel's kissed her. How cool is that?

Some weeks later just as I got out the bath Liam noticed that I too have a birth mark . He roared with laughter. I asked him why he was laughing. He gleefully explained that an angel had kissed my butt.

To learn about HNT click the pic

Little Woman

2005-10-24T10:41:00.000+02:00

I had to laugh. It feels like just yesterday Victoria told us she was turning two points. This in the run up to her second birthday.

This morning Victoria (now Six Points) is slowly combing her tresses like she has all the time in the world. No rush to get ready for school happening here.

She looks across at me and says," Daaaa'd, can I take that South African dolly to school?"

I reply, "Victoria, I would rather that you worry about geting ready for school, and not worry about the dolly, it's late"

Victoria patiently replies while still slowly combing her tresses, " I ............... can worry about two things at the same time".

110% multitasking Woman I tell you.

Hey now it's HNT time again.

2005-10-20T10:36:00.000+02:00

As is custom to see what it's all about click the pic

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I have always liked theatre on a black backrop.

Sometime's life is dark and blurry. The optimist in me heads for the light.

Music I have been listening to.......

2005-10-10T10:22:00.000+02:00

this week anyway.

If you would like to see the lyrics for 1 - 4 click on the links.

1. Temple of love – The Sisters Of Mercy

2. I was wrong – The Sisters Of Mercy

3. Creep – RadioHead * caution strong language

4. I looked at you – The Doors

5. Often as people we fall on the wrong side of other people’s judgment. This song for me is all about that. Walking in my Shoes Lyrics – Depeche Mode

Walking in my Shoes Lyrics – Depeche Mode

I would tell you about the things

They put me through

The pain I've been subjected to

But the Lord himself would blush

The countless feasts laid at my feet

Forbidden fruits for me to eat

But I think your pulse would start to rush

Now I'm not looking for absolution

Forgiveness for the things I do

But before you come to any conclusions

Try walking in my shoes

Try walking in my shoes

You'll stumble in my footsteps

Keep the same appointments I kept

If you try walking in my shoes

If you try walking in my shoes

Morality would frown upon

Decency look down upon

The scapegoat fate's made of me

But I promise now, my judge and jurors

My intentions couldn't have been purer

My case is easy to see

I'm not looking for a clearer conscience

Peace of mind after what I've been through

And before we talk of any repentance

Try walking in my shoes

Try walking in my shoes

You'll stumble in my footsteps

Keep the same appointments I kept

If you try walking in my shoes

If you try walking in my shoes

Try walking in my shoes

Now I'm not looking for absolution

Forgiveness for the things I do

But before you come to any conclusions

Try walking in my shoes

Try walking in my shoes

You'll stumble in my footsteps

Keep the same appointments I kept

If you try walking in my shoes

You'll stumble in my footsteps

Keep the same appointments I kept

If you try walking in my shoes

Try walking in my shoes

If you try walking in my shoes

Try walking in my shoes

I did it 12 times in 12 months …….

2005-10-04T10:14:00.000+02:00

but I did it 5 times in the last month month. WOW . things are looking up.

Hey watch where your mind is going; I did twelve blog entries in 12 months 5 of those in the last month.

*tips hat to mrs. diamond who has nudged me to remind me I need to keep my visitors entertained.

The principle reason I don’t write that many blogs is because it scares me. I can sit on a blog for days before I publish it. I find it scary to put my life out in cyberspace. When I eventually do I find it very therapeutic.

For me there is almost a thrill in facing my fear and putting it out there. My heart races every time I do. Some self diagnosis points me towards : Counterphobia - Counterphobia refers to deliberately seeking out and exposing oneself to the situation one has fear for.

Ghandi said we should learn a new word everyday, so go read the Counterphobia bit again. ;-)

So in conclusion I have two questions ,

For the blogger folk I ask do you feel anxious when you put your life out there?

For those who don’t blog, would you blog if you are in a position to and why would you, and if not why not, ?

It's HNT time...............Try not to blush

2005-09-29T10:02:00.000+02:00

To see what its all about

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Scroll down at your own risk

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So what where you expecting to see for my virgin HNT experience?

Poetry and songs and how to identify the sex of a dragon

2005-09-22T09:58:00.000+02:00

I have often been asked where the nick Furzl comes from. I am not always to keen to share a piece of me that dates back more than ten years. But in the interest of keeping my blog real here goes.

Furzl is not so much a word as a sound if you can imagine. The sound been part of a chemically induced high. L.S.D was my drug of choice at the time. Whilst under the influence of the drug I experienced a hallucination of a dragon formed with hypnotic lines. It's eyes were spinning wheels of colour. Its face benevolent and funny, a small red tongue. The sounds rushing through my ears getting faster and faster. His eyes spinning faster and faster untill there was an explosion, streams of colour spewing forth from his mouth and ears. He would put on a repeat performance over and over faster and faster. He was a jolly fellow and made me laugh.

Somewhere in this trip I tried to record what I was experiencing on paper. Perhaps against my better judgement I give you what I wrote.

FURZLSHOOOZZZZ, FIZZLEPOP AND A GOOD LUCK DRAGON

WHIZZ AND POP
ELVIN CHATTER
SOUND WAVE DRAGON
COLOURED SPLATTER
WHIRL AND WHIZZ RACE AND ZOOM
TEN PAST REALITY
WHINE AND HUM
SOAR AND RUSH
SPEW OF LIGHT
THOUGHTS OF LUST, LAUGHTER, FRIGHT
SHATTERING SHIVER
JARRING QUAKE
STREAMERS FLYING
RAINBOW TWIRL

HERE I GO AGAIN

WHIZZ AND ………………………

From the title of this poem Furzl came to be.

At this point, (if you are still here) you may ask so how did I actually identfy his sex as a male dragon. Well actually since he was too ethereal to lift and check underneath, I had to rely on my instinct. Trust me it was a boy dragon.

Poetry set to music is probably my favourite kind. At the moment I am listening to Leonard Cohen quite a bit.

DANCE ME TO THE END OF LOVE

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Mary had a little lamb. She thought it very silly

2005-09-12T09:51:00.000+02:00

She threw it up in the air and caught it by its

Willy was a watch dog lying on the grass

Down came a bumble bee and stung him on the

Ask no questions, tell no lies

I saw two policeman pulling down their

Flies are a nuisance

Bumble Bees are worse

And thats the end of my little country verse.

Now the reason I share this little bit of mother goose with you is, it seemed like a nice intro to relate an aspect of my weekend. That aspect is the bee that literally stung me in the butt. Better than cartoon network, for the kids at any rate. I sat on the little dude.

Was nice to finally spend some time in our new pool. I love your new costume angel.

THE SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES

It was a rather grim pleasure to smoke a cigar with my brother this weekend. I cannot pretend to feel Marihanda's pain. I feel deeply for her at the loss of her father. The cigars had been intended for what should have been an awesome party celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary this weekend. I have few words that can mean much except to say they are both in my thoughts at this difficult time.

For those of you who don't know I am hugely proud of my brother and I am his biggest cheerleader. He is a great man

I am outta words so I wish you all a week filled with Magic and maybe some Pixie Dust

My life in cyberspace................Warning may be a rambling post

2005-09-05T09:46:00.000+02:00

Since i am such an active blogger .....NOT, I started thinking why I blog, or why anyone blogs.

I think for some blogging is the confessional. A safe place to reconcile with oneself.

For some it is the place where their alter ego can be free to roam. A place to live the life their dreams are made of.

For some it is the proving ground of creators and writers.

For some it is the place of a healer. People using there blogs to reachout to others. (noble if I may say so).

For some it is merely the chronological breakdown of there lives.

I suspect for many it is a combination of reasons.

I think I attempt blogging because it give me a place to maybe express myself. without the pressure of speaking out loud. It does offer a thinking space. If I can only get over my fear of exposing myself out there I may blog more.

If I could commit myself to one thing it would always be to keep what I write as real and true to me as possible. Realness is my goal sadly not my achievement.

"...Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand..." (the Skin Horse)

Why do you blog?

Since I have been tagged..............

2005-08-31T08:32:00.000+02:00

by Christel. I wont tag anybody since my entire readership, all 5 of you lol , have already been tagged.

My top 5 songs at the moment to listen to are,

1. Hurt - Nine Inch Nails

2. Someday - Nickelback

3. Sprokie Vir 'n Stadskind - Johannes Kerkorrel (this has taken on an added meaning for me lately)

4 Close my eyes - Ozzy Osbourne

5 9th Symphony - Luwig Van Beethoven. Counted it as a song since it has a stunning choral.

With respect to Hurt , I had not heard it in ages and then it played just after my recent piercing my own navel experience. ( not sure if that warrants a blog entry or picture lol).

In that context the first few lines were very striking

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that's real

The needle tears a hole

The old familiar sting

Try to kill it all away

But I remember everything

What have I become?

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know

Goes away in the end

You could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit

Upon my liar's chair

Full of broken thoughts

I cannot repair

Beneath the stain of time

The feeling disappears

You are someone else

I am still right here

What have I become?

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know

Goes away in the end

You could have it all

My empire or dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

If I could start again

A million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way

Somebody said that Oprah said..............

2005-08-05T08:16:00.000+02:00

I received this mail claiming that the following statements on relationships were made by Oprah, and what do I think of them. I have posted the statements with my responses here. What do you think of the statements or alternatively what do you think of my answers? My answers are in red

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

I disagree. His sense of responsibility can make him stay or not come. Consider a couple who fall apart and maybe should never have been together, but stay together for the children.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.

Agreed people should give account of themselves. If he won't dont do it for him.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from

heartache.

I am a big believer in intuition so yeah

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to

be.

I agree rather be true to who you are

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what

Makes you truly happy.

I think this is sage advice. That’s why I would not want people to marry too young

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you

Deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".

A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.

If we are talking abusive then yes I agree.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better."

You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

Sometimes I think you got to cut your losses and go

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

True

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

This is an awful generalisation. I know men who have done this who have grown into older men who make good husbands and fathers who support all the illegitimate children. And who is to say that it is him who would not marry her. Besides he did not fall pregnant on his own

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Probably a good idea to have an outside support system

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Yes please speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

This is an abysmal generalisation of the worst kind, I can’t believe this was written by Oprah

You cannot change a man's behaviour. Change comes from within.

True

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if

He has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

I Agree except he is a human no more no less.

Never let a man define who you are.

I Agree

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

I don’t think this is the case. While it may be probable it’s still generalizing.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

I agree

All men are NOT dogs.

I can’t believe this is the same person who says don’t tell a man everything beacuse he WILL use it against you later . I agree all men are not dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two Way street.

True

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute

About baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new

relationship

I disagree we are all capable of holding on to baggage for years.

I think living to this rule will kill off relationships altogether.

Relationships can’t be equated to airconditioning.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship

Consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone Complimentary...not

supplementary.

I can go with this

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

I can go with this

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, And

you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

This may be true, although it makes the assumption all men are wired the same.

Never move into his mother's house.

I so agree on this one

Never co-sign for a man.

Smacks of sexism this one. It make a sweeping generalisation about men. What makes a woman any more reliable to co-sign for. Better advice might be don’t co-sign for anyone

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you

need.

Would anyone ever commit in this case? Besides how do you only partly commit. Either you commit or you don't. When a pilot is on final appraoch and commits to land the plane , he has got to take the whole plane down he cant leave 25% in the air. Partial commitment is a misnomer.

Keep him in your radar but get to know

others.

This I could go either way on.

In conclusion I seriously don’t think these are the words of Oprah . Some of it may have been. Looks more like something compiled by a wannabe feminist, and that’s not a bad thing. Hopefully it gets people thinking?

Finally 100 things...............About Me part 2

2005-07-30T08:13:00.000+02:00

51. I spent my evenings between a variety of night clubs and watering holes. Sobriety was not high on my list

52. I started to date a girl whom I would later be engaged to. It was unfortunately longer lived than It should have been.

53. My contract at Reuters came to and end I started at Aforbes where I met Christel although nothing would happen here for sometime.

54. Sadly my Grandmother gave up her fight for life around this time. A side effect of her long struggle with cancer

55. In the tangle above I started to experiment with grass (pot) and also LSD. Destructive I know but it’s just where I was in life.

56. I won’t say I was the most stable individual. I did find a place of my own to live and tried to be a little more responsible. Made a messy mistake of buying a house with the girl I was engaged to.

57. It was then that she left me. Nothing to do with any of the stuff above she was not aware of it

58. this seemed like another good time to live it up and indulge myself. I threw myself into some questionable relationships

59. Christel knowing I was due to be married ask how my wedding plans are progressing. I told her not and why.

60. 6^th of September 1997 . A day set apart as it was the day I would have got married and also the day that Princess Diana was buried. Nice somber day to go sit at my grandmothers graveside and contemplate the wreck my life felt like

61. Christel called to ask how I was doing as she remembered it would have been my wedding day. On an impulse I asked her out for a cup of coffee. Ain’t life/fate grand? Indeed 6^th September became a day set apart.

62. My life with Christel is well documented see http://www.geocities.com/furzl123 and http://wenchy.blogdrive.com

63. I got head hunted to go work for another IT concern . Finally accepted within myself computers are my thing and I am probably good at what I do. Christel had a big hand in that.

64. Christel has a faith in me I can’t explain but it makes me stronger

65. Christel is my Everything

66. I love my job

67. I believe in the principle of sowing and reaping. Don’t sow bad karma dude.

68. Some of the most striking examples I have ever seen of goodness came from a pagan.

69. This has got to be my favorite positi….. I mean number

70. I think I need a smoke at this point

71. I have had a vasectomy. Kevin Liam and Victoria are all the kids I ever want,

Most of the time anyway.

72. He who dies happy wins

73. I have come to the conclusion as an adult that I am likely Attention Deficit

74. When Liam started school I cried. My relationship with Liam is sometimes difficult, maybe because I see some of myself there.

75. I think sex appeal is the most interesting of attributes because its difficult to define

76. I almost never do lists for the internet.

77. I love animals but suck at pet ownership

78. Reading is far more appealing than TV

79. I appeared on the TV news in the late 1970’s

80. Little people exposed to cameras will not behave as the cameraman expects.

81. I believe in ghosts

82. I believe in U.F.O’s

83. I believe in fairies. Winged ones and others.

84. I believe that saying you are a product of your environment can only get you so far

85. I believe Elvis is dead

86. My first favorite quote on sexuality I've always felt that sexuality is a really slippery thing. In this day and age, it tends to get categorized and labeled,

and I think labels are for food. Canned food.-- Michael Stipe

87. My second is It is essential that we realize once and for all that man is much more of a sex creature than a moral creature. The former is inherent, the other is grafted on.-- Emma Goldman. Thanks Angel for both.

88. Keys on a standard piano. Maybe I will still be a piano technician when I grow up

89. I fear alcholism

90. Music is my first love

91. Death does not scare me. I want to be around a while still though.

92. I am to sportsman like fish is to bicycle.

93. I would like and official golf handicap

94. I am fiercely and proudly South African

95. I would like to learn another language. Preferably African

96. A life without tea is no life at all.

97. I truly do want world peace, respect and tolerance for all.

98. I once failed and HIV. Test. An administrative error was to blame. A re-test proved the error.

99. I would not swap my life for anything

100. is the outer limit of my list compiling ability.

If you are still here at 100, thanks for your time.......I have realised I could write more.......maybe oneday

Finally 100 things...............About Me part 1

2005-07-30T08:11:00.000+02:00

1. My story began on the 28th of March 1973. Born of Dougie and Ann at The Willem Cruywagen Hospital in Germiston

2. Proof that I was a winner in life. I was the first sperm cell to reach the egg

3. The earliest memory I have is slicing the top of my finger off on a half opened tin. I was 18 Months old.

4. My second memory is of being in a green room with my dad comforting me while they sewed my finger tip back.

5. I have an older brother Kevin whom I love very much and am hugely proud of

6. The first friends I had were Marie, Lisa and Nico. (neighborhood kids)

7. The first Arch Enemies I ever had were Hendrik and Gertjie (neighborhood kids)

8. I starred in my first stage production as a Brown Bear in Numberland, My line was delivered flawlessly. “My card shows little number four, walk like a bear with hands on the floor. Exit stage walking with my butt in the air on all fours.

9. My parents separated sometime that year my mom started working and we went to an aftercare center

10. Digits in my force number 89554372 BG. Proof of my time spent in the defense force. I suspect that number will stay with me forever.

11. Met my first childhood girlfriend Paula. It was short lived

12. Got smacked numerous times in Grade 1 for disruptive behavior.

13. Moved to my Grandmothers house

14. Got smacked numerous times in Grade 2 for disruptive behavior.

15. Got smacked numerous times in Standard…… o wait I covered that one

16. Met my second girlfriend Tony. Took up hockey because Tony played hockey. Tony and the hockey were short lived.

17. Tony was a girl. Don’t let the name mislead you

18. Next I took up karate Kiaaaaaaaaaaa chop. Karate was short lived

19. Interwoven with this I became the victim of sexual predator. Not sure when it started. It stopped when I realized I was a victim and threatened to report my

abuser to the authorities.

20. I loved Living with my Grandmother. She was the person closest to me in the whole world. She stayed my closest confident until her death about 9 years ago. I still miss her terribly and cry if I think to long about her. (just rewrote that because I wrote it directly to her the first time)

21. Regrettably my parents got back together. Sitting outside pubs in the car waiting for dad in the dark became regular evening entertainment (must make a 100 list about things drunk ppl do sometime)

22. I always imagined I would grow up to be a veterinarian. (Academically I fell way short.) Other careers I considered, Food Technology (yes is has a qualification), Advertising, Piano Tuning (I still like this one). Also thought I may one day be a pastor.

23. I did have a childhood crush on a Vet. She worked miracles with animals. BTW. This had nothing to do with me wanting to be a vet.

24. Aptitude testing at school declared I would be hopeless at anything computer related and should stay well away.

25. Was constantly in trouble for incomplete work at school. Became proficient at worming my way out of undone work.

26. My Business Economics teacher did have the decency to call my parents just to tell them that they need not worry about me I would do well in life ……(dramatic pause)….. BECAUSE BRIAN CAN LIE HIS WAY OUT OF ANYTHING. Thanks for that one Mister Louw. I had to lie like anything to explain to my folks what you may have meant by that statement.

27. In Standard one (grade 3) I met two buddies Colin and Stephen. We were like the three musketeers (or was that 3 stooges) Anyway 24 years later we are still in touch.

28. I was baptized and raised as a Roman Catholic. Broke away from My Catholicism Sometime after confirmation. Talk about rows and ructions.

29. I associate myself to Christianity, and do not claim to belong to any denomination. I think God loves us all equally. Even the disruptive ones who can lie their way out of anything.

30. In Primary school and high school I sang in the church and school choir. Around puberty something happened to my vocals. Student Christian Association became my new activity of choice alongside rowing.

31. Discovered a fondness for some forms of alcohol. I was about 13.

32. yip I was a Rebel without a clue.

33. floated through high school. By Gods grace I got through.

34. I did work on weekends and school holidays in a hardware store. Paint 40% discount today only.

35. Briefly dabbled at technical college studying such noble topics as Engineering Science, Idustrial and Digital electronics.

36. Also learn’t the fine art of cutting class, and betting on horses.

37. Surprise I failed the second semester.

38. Confided my woes to my grandmother. Told her I think I should find a job. Without judgment she helped me look. I soon started my new career as a Retail trainee (read security guard).

39. So working a loss control officer (read security guard) made me realize how maybe I have failed myself. Ironic how many of my colleagues got prosecuted for theft.

40. Knowing I had reached the pinnacle of achievement I responded to my call up papers and joined the South African Defense force. It had to be better than my last eight months as a loss prevention officer (you kno by now)

41. In Upington I got trained as a mechanized infantryman. I also dropped from 90 Kg to 66 Kg in a few short weeks. I still deceive myself that the nickname I got on starting (Gummy Bear) had to do with my personality and not my body shape.

42. From Upington I got transferred to Ladysmith , a unit with a reputation for troops committing suicide. This reputation was borne out by me becoming the lucky recipient of a cupboard that still contained dried splattering of the last owners’ successful suicide attempt. My Status as a White Male Citizen compelled me to be there.

43. From Ladysmith fate or error re-posted me to Voortrekkerhoogte in Pretoria. I suspected error at the time because I was the only 18 yr old over achiever posted amongst a group ten years older all with one or more university degrees to their name

44. While there we were given an opportunity to try and win a bursary to study computer programming. All we had to do was leave camp for a day to go write a qualifying exam. I knew I had no chance since school had already taught me computers are not my thing. A day out of camp sounded great though. Was a little surprised to hear a few days later that I passed the entrance exam and would I go back for a second exam. It would mean time out of camp. Well okay. Another exam and an interview later I was the holder of a bursary. Training would commence a month after my Defense Force experience ended.

45. That month gave me sufficient time to re-adjust to civilian life, get into a car wreck and arrive for my first day of classes fresh from the surgery to reconstruct my nose.

46. Still could not believe I was doing the course and feared the final exams which would prove computers are not my thing. Still can’t believe my marks were amongst the highest country. I am not sure who lied to whom in high school.

47. Armed with my new qualification I was ready to grace the IT world with my presence. An upgrade from a Security guard. Sadly jobs were few. Took on a job as a factory worker manufacturing Exhaust Catalysts for the overseas automotive trade. Green cars were no heard of locally then.

48. Received notification that I was been court marshaled for the theft of defense force funds by committing fraud while working in pay office. The prosecution case was strong, they had the testimony of a captain, a general and the most damming piece of evidence of all the document I forged. This was rather an unfortunate turn of events in light of the fact I never did commit fraud or theft. I did have a Warrant Officer my sergeant major stand up for me saying that in spite of the evidence against me he did not believe I was capable of theft. He contacted me outside of the court marshal process to see if we could work out what was actually happening and how he could help me since I had all this evidence stacked against me and no way to even look at the evidence against me. Turns out in the end it was an accounting error just after I left where money was deposited into a regimental account instead of a state account. Strangely the court marshal process with all it’s evidence disappeared without so much as an apology.

49. Desperate to escape the thrilling world of catalytic converters, I kept looking for a job. Found a contract position as a support gopher for Reuters News agency.

50. Turns out it was the most amazing time to work for a news agency. South Africa was moving from an apartheid travesty to a democracy. I got to experience close up the political violence and also the hope of the time . I remember vividly setting up a news system for the independent electoral commission to monitor the voting process and the watching the first headline to appear, the article telling of the devastation of the bomblast in a part of my hometown where I knew that my Grandmother was that day. Thankfully she was not there at the time. I also got to witness the effects of the shell house massacre first hand. People streaming past some just terrified, some still committing violence against those not part of their cause.

Awkwardly in love

2005-06-07T08:20:00.000+02:00

Gasp! another update already. Will this madness ever end?

Have you ever heard the term Awkward in love?

In my mind it spoke of a teenager falling in love, lust or even just taking a stab at dating. Not sure how to act, what to say. should I call maybe I should wait type stuff.

Recently I was privy to an older couple divorced years ago, alone in a room. I would expect a cordial politeness between them or maybe some anger and bitterness. What I saw were two people truly awkward in love. Years have gone by. Regret in their eyes. Both moved on with life and into other relationships. Both had chosen someone else to spend life with. A point of nor return. I had the impression a lot went unsaid that night and had to remain that way.

I believe they both found love elsewhere and yet, sometimes love's letting go is a mistake I think.

I felt somehow saddened to see it, and also humble and grateful to God for the wife I have and will not let go of.